"See you later for our pointless scene!"
Jesse and his humongous acapella group are performing in the living room. They have a little choreography that consists of walking in a circle. When they finally stop singing, everyone flips out. Jesse tells the group he'll see them later at dress rehearsal and they take 30 seconds to leave as they have to sing their way out. The family notices Stephanie is lying on the ground all sick-like. Turns out she has the chicken pox. Everyone else in the room has reportedly had the chicken pox, except Joey, though he says he's immune. They realize they have to make sure Michelle doesn't get sick.
Upstairs, Danny tucks Stephanie into bed with animal oven mitts on her hands to keep her from scratching. Stephanie says she doesn't want to miss her dance class the next day because a real ballerina is performing. Jesse comes into the room in a sequined tuxedo and the studio audience goes gaga. He gives Stephanie some lotion for her pockmarks and tells her he never scratched his because he was tough. Joey shows up and gives Stephanie a teddy bear to scratch and an air horn. Danny tucks Stephanie back into bed and says he'll be with her all weekend, except for the next afternoon because he's working on a special report where he'll get to warm up with a basketball team and sit on the bench during the game. Jesse says he's got his dress rehearsal that night, then his doo-wop show the next night, but will otherwise be around. Joey, of course, has absolutely nowhere else to be over the weekend. DJ is happy to escape the house for her first slumber party the next evening.
Then there's a useless scene where DJ tries to get Michelle to go to sleep. Worked for me!
In the kitchen the next morning, Danny is in his uniform goofing around with a basketball. DJ is getting picked up in a couple of minutes for her slumber party. Jesse comes downstairs looking like death, and Joey also looks even more awful than usual and points out some pockmarks on his skin. Just then, Jesse's mom conveniently calls and Jesse finds out he never had the chicken pox as a child. Jesse annoyingly repeats everything his mother says on the phone, which must explain why she hangs up so fast. Danny definitely needs a sitter now, since neither of the guys can go near Michelle. DJ wants to rush off to the slumber party, and Danny reassures her that he'll find a sitter for the day. Ooh, ooh, I know - call Kimmy and liven this episode up a bit.
Despite her fever, Stephanie has rounded up a fedora, long scarf, sunglasses, and a trench coat to wear as a disguise to sneak out of the house to her dance class. How resourceful! She proceeds to sneak around Jesse, Joey, and Danny. This whole sequence has a lot of really badly dubbed lines. As Danny leaves the living room, Stephanie makes for the door. Jesse comes downstairs and pretends to believe the disguise until she cracks. He walks her back upstairs to bed.
Down in Joey's room, Jesse and Joey are dabbing lotion on their pox. Joey says they have to make the best of the situation. They end up challenging each other to not scratch. This whole scene has a really weird energy; they look like they're about to pounce each other. They finally end up scratching each other and rubbing their bodies together until Danny walks in on them. I swear I'm not exaggerating this scene at all.
Later in the living room, Danny is still calling sitters and having no luck. He tells Michelle he has no one else to call. Danny considers getting DJ to come home to watch Michelle, but doesn't want to spoil her slumber party. There's a pretty cute moment where Danny pretends to call Michelle on her play phone, and she hangs up on him. It's cute because it seems like it was unrehearsed and not forced, unlike every one of Michelle's scenes once she's old enough to take direction. (Oops, spoilers.)
Back in Joey's room, Joey, Jesse, and Stephanie are spraying their pockmarks with water for relief and singing "Chain Gang." Danny comes downstairs and sings about the lunch he made everyone and ruins the moment. Nobody is hungry, and as Danny sets the tray down I cry because delicious sandwiches are being wasted. Danny joins them on the bed and tells them he's sticking around and has to miss filming his report. Just then, DJ appears and says she wanted to make sure Danny had a babysitter. The sappy music starts up as Danny thanks DJ over and over and DJ says being part of a family is doing nice things for each other. Danny still won't leave, gushing that he's honoured to be a part of the family and that the guys are doing something right in raising the girls. Danny finally takes off and the scene ends with Joey, Jesse, and Stephanie yelling out demands while DJ backs out of the room.
***
Award for legitimately funny moment goes to: Jesse and Stephanie doing the "chicken strut."
Unintentionally hilarious moment: After the acapella group gives Danny the stink eye over his singing, Danny says, "Hey, if we were all in the shower, you'd be begging for more."
First appearance of: While we saw Jesse perform with a band in Episode 2, this is the first time we see his acapella group, which has approximately 17 members.
I am baffled by: The size of the acapella group. Did John Stamos owe a bunch of favours to aspiring performers? Rockapella only has 5 members, and they consistently blew the roof off the Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? set.
Deep thoughts: As cringeworthy as this show can be, I have to give props to Bob Saget, Dave Coulier, and John Stamos for consistently giving their all when the script calls for really embarrassing lines and behaviour. A good example is Danny's song about the lunch he made for the sick peeps - it's totally ridiculous, but he sings it and dances along like a good sport.
Episode rating: Nothing special...nothing terrible, either. I give it 2.75 out 5 novelty oven mitts.
Photo source: veehd.com
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