The least attractive cereal box design ever.
Danny comes through the front door and grandly announces DJ to...no one, since the family is right behind him. DJ just starred in a rendition of The Frog Prince. Danny is annoyed when Jesse tells Danny to let DJ audition for commercials, because DJ gets all pumped up.
Later (the next day?), Danny finds Jesse and Michelle in the kitchen. Joey comes in with a bag of groceries and turns down a corned beef sandwich. He has tofu, salt-free rice crackers, and veggies. The guys laugh at him until Joey reveals his cholesterol is a little high so he has to exercise and eat less fat. Joey has also decided to give up junk food, which Danny and Jesse find hard to believe. Danny rudely brings the attention back to himself to say he spoke to a casting director and there's an audition next week for a cereal commercial. He isn't sure if he should tell DJ, and Jesse and Joey are useless in helping Danny make a decision. He decides to just talk to DJ about it. Of course, she's thrilled and wants to audition.
In some audition reception room, DJ, Stephanie, and Jesse arrive and watch all the pretentious professional kiddie actors hanging around. Turns out Jesse didn't even bring a headshot for DJ - as if Danny, a sportscaster, wouldn't have known that was necessary. DJ is allowed to audition anyway. The casting lady thinks she's great and wants her to perform again for Mr. Betten, the guy who makes the final decision. DJ wants to do her hair and Jesse suddenly has to go put change in the meter, so Stephanie is conveniently left alone in the room with the casting lady. Stephanie starts playing with the cereal when Mr. Betten comes in and thinks she is perfect for the commercial. Jesse and DJ come back in to see Stephanie getting offered the role, even though they were only off-screen for 36 seconds.
Back at home in the kitchen, Danny is watching Joey have a wheat germ drink. DJ comes in and slams drawers and pouts over to the table with a bottle of juice. Jesse and Stephanie reveal Stephanie got the part. Danny simultaneously congratulates her and apologizes to DJ, who stomps off to her room.
Later in Michelle's room, Joey is waving a Big Mac in the baby's face. He can't help himself from chowing down on the burger. The guys come in and Joey hides the burger in Michelle's crib, though the guys find it in like five seconds. Joey cries that he has no willpower. Danny tells Joey he tried to change too quickly and should try more moderation. Danny tells the guys he has to go to work and that Jesse and Joey have to keep an eye on the girls, who are avoiding each other.
Downstairs, DJ walks in on Stephanie practicing her commercial and reading all the actions in parentheses out loud. The girls start chasing each other around the kitchen and yelling until the box of cereal gets ripped open and Jesse and Joey have to separate them. DJ runs to Joey's room and the guys follow her. Joey tells DJ that it's normal to get rejected at auditions. Take it from the expert, DJ. Jesse tries a little reverse psychology on DJ, ultimately pointing out that Stephanie didn't steal the part on purpose. But DJ is sick of having cuter, younger sisters and misses being the only kid. The guys point out the benefits of being the older sister. The scene ends with noogies.
In the living room, Stephanie is trying to call the commercial people to turn down the role. DJ comes in and the girls work everything out while someone cues the string orchestra that is hiding in the attic. DJ helps Stephanie practice her lines.
***
Award for legitimately funny performance goes to: Jesse was funny enough in general. There was a quick shot of him mouthing along with DJ's cue cards in the audition that was chuckle-worthy.
Line that generated the biggest eyeroll: DJ: "You're my best friend." (...) Stephanie: "Well that works out great, because you're mine." Children don't talk to each other like that.
First appearance of: Stephanie saying "How rude!"
Unintentionally hilarious moment: In the lead-up to the commercial break after Jesse and DJ find out Stephanie was offered the part, while ominous music is playing, there's a pretty funny shot of DJ giving Stephanie the stinkeye while Stephanie just kind of has a blank look on her face and stares at nothing. Maybe a 5-year-old doesn't know how to play guilt.
I am baffled by: The healthy eating subplot. It had no point.
Episode rating: 2.75 out of 5 paper grocery bags with bunches of carrots peeking out of the top.
Photo source: sidereel.com
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