Not to be a killjoy, but his room still doesn't have a door.
Joey is ironing in his most hideous shirt. In case you're wondering - no, he can't just iron like a normal person. DJ and Stephanie come down and Joey tells them he has news, but he can't tell them what. Jesse comes in from the garage after a long day of killing bugs for a living. Again, Joey says he can't reveal his good news. Jesse really couldn't give less of a shit. Danny comes home from work, and Joey finally announces he's been chosen to go on a comedy tour for two weeks. Sure, Joey. Wait, we should be kind - he's probably going to rehab and that's his cover story. Joey says he might not go, though, because he can't neglect his housework and the girls. Jesse offers to take two weeks off and fill in for Joey. (Heard daily around the Full House writer's table: "I'm not sure how to end this scene, any ideas?" "Hugs.")
In the living room, Joey is practicing his comedy. Doesn't seem like practice is making much of a difference. His clothes are strewn all over the room, of course. Joey keeps getting interrupted by everyone. He walks around the house looking for a place to rehearse, but can't find one. He eventually ends up in the garage. DJ comes in and watches Joey do his "Ode to a Fountain" bit, which essentially involves spitting water all over the place. DJ tells Joey he can practice in her room, but Joey says the garage isn't that bad. DJ finds out Joey has to keep his clothes in his car. I'm not surprised; he does carry a full wardrobe for his mannequin. Joey admits it's hard not to have any privacy.
Upstairs, DJ is telling Jesse and Danny about how pathetic Joey is, while Stephanie looks out to make sure Joey doesn't overhear. DJ wants them all to help Joey get his own space. Joey comes in and the family acts all dodgy around him, saying they're doing a new family ritual of singing Michelle to sleep. Joey is hurt he wasn't included.
Downstairs the next morning, Jesse is cooking breakfast in an apron like a pro. Joey has made a calendar of the girls' activities and his cleaning schedule for Jesse. The family comes down for breakfast and Jesse goes all June Cleaver on their asses. Joey is a bit miffed when the family asks for second helpings of Jesse's cooking. Jesse made the girls' lunches, too, so Joey feels extra useless. Before he leaves on his tour, he stops to see Michelle, who's hanging out in her playpen in the living room. So the whole family was in the kitchen cooking or eating breakfast and Michelle was in the living room by herself? Joey confides in her that he feels left out and not needed.
Later, Michelle and Jesse are watching TV. Jesse blows raspberries on Michelle's tummy and the resulting movement in his hair is mesmerizing. A woman drops by for Joey, saying it's his turn to watch the kids. Turns out Joey watches all the kids in the neighborhood a couple of days a week. Jesse tries to intimidate the kids, but they just start throwing laundry around the living room. And that's different from when Joey's around because...?
That night, Jesse is making dinner, insisting the girls wait for Danny to arrive before eating. Danny finally comes in, and Jesse glares at him. They do a whole schtick where Jesse acts like the unappreciated housewife ragging on her absent husband. Jesse finally breaks and lays his head down on the table. By the way, he's only been a homemaker for one day. Danny says he figured out the alcove problem - they're going to hire a contractor and build Joey his own room.
Two weeks later, Joey comes home and no one greets him. He notices that his alcove is empty. In the kitchen, the family agrees to act all cool. Joey comes in and they halfheartedly greet him without taking their eyes off their board game. Joey asks where his stuff is, and they say it's in the garage. Joey flips out at them for getting rid of his stuff and not caring about him. He rants at them all the way down to the garage, then sees his swingin' new pad. Danny says Joey is his best friend and is doing Danny the biggest favour ever by looking after the girls for free. DJ tries to sell 5-year-old Stephanie on the alcove, and even she knows better than to agree to that. Everyone tackles Joey onto the bed.
***
Award for legitimately funny line goes to: Once again, it's all in the delivery. After Jesse has his mini-breakdown over the housework, Danny says he's going to build Joey a room, and Jesse says: "Oh, great - another room for me to clean."
Unintentionally hilarious line: Joey claiming he's "been chosen as one of the hot, up-and-coming comics to go on a two-week, 16 college tour!"
First appearance of: DJ wagging her head and saying: "Ooh, the man is hot!"; we learn Joey's mannequin is named "Manny."
Episode rating: This episode made me feel bad for ragging on Joey so much - as annoying as he is, I have to admire him for looking after the girls and the house while Danny and Jesse work. Still, I really hate Joey-centric episodes. I give this one 0.5 out of 5 bombed college tour comedy routines.
Photo source: Ovguide.com
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